Yes, am offically going to declare that I AM A MUSLIMAH PHOTOGRAPHER!:).Those looking specifically for a muslimah photographer, look no futhur…Engagement,Birthday functions or any ceremonies which requires the montages of memories at a very affordable price, you could

drop me a mail @ shaneez18@hotmail.com

My portfolio is available on my album page.

*Every occasion tells a story, capture yours now:)*

One more week of “sympathized” break week before we plunge into the torture regime of practicum once again, hahahah I am sorry my fellow SNOs , I know I make it sound so depressing, ok on a more lighter note, we get to do it together, does that sound even more depressing.??;) , back to my post of sky therapy, was on yet another bus ride home, when I started listening to my Mp3 player and tilted my head a bit to get myself into a comfortable position to plunge into slumber once again, but that day I didn’t, in fact something caught my attention, THE PALE BLUE SKY which held no tracks. Suddenly I was mesmerized by the soothing color and cradling along it were my thoughts and need I say the symphony of the music played on my MP3, just accentuated that particular moment. I always knew that they use the Sky as a cut-away for films but to literally indulge in SKY THERAPY is something that you guys should try. Words of caution don’t stare into the glaring sun; just find a location amidst the “Blue blanket” to feast into this therapeutic feeling, for all you know this could be the medical break through for stress reliever, hahaha then can I start writing my own bookJwell but thruthfully it did help in shedding off all the unhappy thoughts for the day, its like the sky being a huge canvass and your imagination as your paint brush, music as your palette, just indulging in that thought makes you smile right. Try it and let me know, how it wentJDo I hear you?

Yes, I have lost something so close to my heart and gain a whole new meaning to my relationship with him.As sad as it can be to lose a ring bought with lot of love, and that too with his first Bonus, I felt a plung in my heartbeat when I felt the missing presence of the ring on my right hand, I knew he felt the depth of the missing ring too, even though he consoled me with soothing words like "It’s ok, nothing much we can do and yes with another positve replacement of hugs and embraces of assurance that there are better things awaiting us in the future.i felt sad and still am feeling sad,for a person like me to freak out when i found out that my ring is still in the bathroom, while i am leaving for work in the morning, I would like take the lift back up, even though am still late for work, to actually indulge in the comfort knowing that the ring is still safely wraped around the "Ring Finger", but for now, its just an illusion of a silver band which is not there.I am sorry Ebrahim, I really am, for I have lost the ring in another country.The friend I knew once, the person I know now….sitting beside me sharing a dream…plunging out from emotional drewbacks we once faced, am glad we are over with all those tidings….I want to say THANK YOU for taking care of me really well……..all the time, i was beside you, proving to me that I WAS YOUR UNDER RESPONSIBILTY and being tolerance of all my emotional flaws, for making me realise that it is me all this while and not someone else..THANK YOU for the 2years and more inshallah.Among those whom drew back on the relationship we had all these years, you stayed on to help me along…THANK YOu. ————@

IT’S Really been sometimes since I had updated my Blog…ever since SHE came into my life, yes the imsai arasi yelikaysi 53(only yas and I would understand the functions of this mean machine);) I have been really tied down with work, trying to cling on to the ladder..hmmm..wonder where its leading me to, but for now, i just have to move along with the climbing cohort, well enough said of this rigid working terms,lets head back to chill time, thats practically why I am here..to consume my chill pill and get intoxicated in  my own words…yes people am back with a bang..and a literal BANG needed to knock some senses into to me and the reason why i had started off with this blog…which means i shoould not let it hang out without any ending, not that I am intending to shut myself off my Blog completely..but hey I am getting a cheap thrill of sneaking in a post during school time and trust me, I guess I am the fastest ALT TAB user.never mind if you are not able to capture any sense of what I am talking about..I hear you going…"what the %^$$# am i talking about.Lets snap back…yeah alot of happenings..alot of excitement…alot of craps….and a whole lotta of unknown notion awaits my future post, so i would start off with my very recent trip with my partner in crime:)Like how we kinda of address ourselves…seems like we are spending quite some times togther..borrowed this film titled SEPET from the esplanade library…read the synopsise and was astound by how it share some similarities to the script that I worte in my 2nd year script writing class….and my title was JUNISMA….and to think the film was out in the 2004, that too in our neighbouring country Malaysia…a silly thought went through my mind..but never mind…should not share it here….but im just contended that someone at the same idea as me, except that SEPET was taken in a more Wang kar Wai film stlyes of inclduing the musical style..but appaluse to the DOP and also the graphics of the opening credits, the storyline is normal..but the way is way carried across the film…and the cheograph of the characther..did add weightage to the TITLE SEPET….except, the HUGE FLAW in the film, to start off the film in the name of ALLAH swt..and have a whole lot of contraditing images which follows up…I meant…if you respect ISLAM…please dont tarnish the purity of a religion by piecing it with something thats forbidden, that is unless a messgage is intended with it…I somehow hope that the director of SEPET is able to read this blog..and tell me her real intention of starting off in the name of ALLAH swt..or was it just for GOOD LUCK…???well ive gotta go now, but have a whole lot of new pictures to be uploaded in "the eyes of my camera">

I have juts uploaded the pictures of My cousin Jun’s engagement ceremony….do indulge and feast your eyes on yet another indian muslim custom…*More pictures to be uploaded soon!

You became the symptoms of our love,

In darkness you creped your way through,

The swell of joy, which was depicted on my body,

My evidence of

Paradise

, I see life in your eyes.

Cradle in my womb, as I sing you lullaby,

Let’s celebrate your coming into Earth,

For you are love of Birth,

Countdown of the months that didn’t appear,

Suddenly I don’t feel so Holy,

Where are you, My Baby?

I embrace you in vain,

And all I got was pain

Nothing in game,

For I can never be a mother in name.

Mother’s day come and Go,

But wishes of Happiness I have to FORGO

I would like to take the oppurtunitird to wish all mum,mum to be and those mum in heart

A VERY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

hmmm..insomnia knocking on my doors for the moment.What has it resulted in:"late night digital enhancement" and here some of my creation which have been heavily touched up on the wonder software PS 7.Do view them!:)

Someone has been saying prayers on my behalf. God is there, HE listens to you, even when you are not calling out HIS name or even the time when you are oblivious of HIS presence…HE is there to guard you and your iman, because HE knows you best and puts you across a lot of tests, even when your drifting away to the temptation of shyaitan’s whisper, he recognizes your weakness and divert you back with your strengths. Why am I saying all this….My post for the day is not about preaching to non-believer but to truly thank MY LORD, for what HE has bestowed upon me, despite my ungratefulness towards him.

My practicum zipped up finally today with my lecturer coming in for a post practicum debriefs. I was to hand in the dreaded Practicum folder, which I had, jitters in passing it up, due to the fact that my lesson evaluations were kind of incomplete and there I was trying to burn the midnight oil…”smoking” away previous lesson evaluations, when I realize that I was really lost because my memory failed to track back previous evaluation from my lesson I was cursing Anishar, for falling into the trap of procrastination and as a negative reinforcement, what did I get? Failing memory and a demodulating body system which refused to stay awake beyond

2am

. I gave in finally as I resigned to the fact that I had misused my time and now I am reaping what I sow. it was around 2am, I was staring blankly at the screen and before I knew it, the wake of dawn buzzed into my ears as I got ready to face my fears. I was handing over my practicum file to my lecturer, with an imaginary wand in my hand to magical form new evaluation sheets in my Practicum folder…but sadly my imaginary wand remained as a part of my imagination… failing to emerge in realityJ I handed in the rest of my other folders which was needed as a part of the assignment. She was flipping through the folder with me by her side and there I was with my body physically in front of her, But with thoughts sprouted with wings, clashing into each others direction as they flewJ then there was a knock on the door, that was when my mentor came in to join in the meeting, followed by the cooperating teacher and finally my reporting officer. I felt like I was in a battle field, being outnumbered. I slowly excused myself out of the room, which is going to be filled with “talks behind the back of Anishar”. Time Check:

11.30am

…My mentor came over, with instruction that I need to go over and see my lecturer now. The butterflies which were evolving in my stomach have now developed into large size moth as I made my way into the meeting room. I decided to face the trumpet which is gona be blown right into my face.

My lecturer greeted me with a “HI”…I even scrutinized the HI, as a read between the line statement. She finally declared that she is pretty happy with my practicum folder. I was shocked; I asked her if she could repeat what she had just said. She consolidated the information of the meeting by saying that my mentor and reporting officer were pretty pleased with my performance and she even mentioned about the fact that she read through my observation file, and she liked the way I conveyed certain matters with the Teachers and how I managed to share important detail of the child.” Anishar but nevertheless you have to update your lesson evaluation, that would really help to regonise you weakness and strength”…But I read you daily observation form and I realized that you have wriiten them there, so I would take that as your final evaluation. ”Phew…..after all my day did turn out well and my members of BLACK made it even better by talking about the trip to KL which would take place late may…cant wait for it to take place!

I have managed to uploads the rest of the pictures of my first trip with E500.Do view them and leave behind your comments:)*Do i hear you once again!*

The Syndrome *Title Copyright thanks to Junaidah*

Deep in sleep, only to be awaken by a sudden jerk from bus…I looked out the window covered with tiny raindrops…one of those “priceless” doze off I usually get in bus105.lately I’m starting to have this fetish of traveling in bus, just to cover the long journey and also to get the seat near the window…to tilt my head on the window panel and plunge into the deep elation of slumber… Sometimes I just indulge in this cheap trill of being awaken in an unknown destination, with unknown faces looking into my direction, the moment I am awake. Continued the rest of the journey with a conversation on the phone with Jun, that’s when the syndrome word came about. I was relating to her on how we are replacing the “void” in the certain aspect of our life, so that we can overcome but also at the same time relinquish the actual wanting for it to take place once again. Often a full-stop is a beginning of something and it takes a lot of courage placing the STOP to something that we want badly…it’s like we are heavily drugged with the essence of comfort that we resist moving away from that form of behavior. Going through the period of “Cold Turkey”, we try to get ourselves inject with something similar to compensate for the loss…BUT who are we fooling? Why can’t we just give in to our justified feelings, why do we have to conform to the norms? Sadly that is how we are trying to fit into the mould, jutting out here and there…eventually getting into a messed up shape. (I am not only saying this on the behalf of Jun, but also for myself).Playing tug and war within our own emotions can only brew more mental stress for one…. to free ourselves from all these knots of questions…I would leave you with a poem by Rumi:

Our death is our wedding with eternity.
What is the secret? "God is One."
The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice made from the grapes.
For he who is living in the Light of God,
The death of the carnal soul is a blessing.
Regarding him, say neither bad nor good,
For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible,
So that he may place another look in your eyes.
It is in the vision of the physical eyes
That no invisible or secret thing exists.
But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God
What thing could remain hidden under such a Light?
Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light
Don’t call all these lights "the Light of God";
It is the eternal light which is the Light of God,
The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh.
…Oh God who gives the grace of vision!
The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.