Armed with my new toy:my e500, I took an unforgettable trip to Pasir Park to capture "anything & everything that is seen through the eyes of my camera…I have uploaded few pictures and would be updating more very soon, do leave behing your crtics for me to improve on…*Do I hear you*…

Am back once again. I know that its Monday and yes I am suppose to be working on my lesson plans, But overcome with the indulgence of self-empathy, I have decided to set aside some time of my work and do some “Reflection” on what has been going around latelyJ.

  Attended Arab class yesterday, and mudharris (Teacher in Arabic) was really having a good laugh reading out our homework and I was hoping that he would not read out mine, as I had a lot of silly mistakes, which the class would have a good time laughing too, if he had read out. The two most prominent mistake that I did was between (Old ) and (New), but I misunderstood on the opposite of (OLD)as (YOUNG) and wrote my sentence as the “Merchant is old” and the “young boy is new”, under the English language context, grammatically, you might take into consideration that the young boy is new, even though it sounds quite vague…but am not quite sure if it is applicable to Arabic sentence construction…(Let’s Hope SOJ ).I just could not help but to imagine mudharris at home, having his coffee and laughing out loud to the dubious meaning of our Arabic sentences…hahaha as if not enough, I even wrote down the translation of what my sentences means and am armed with a lame excuse of why I had to write down the translation: “Just in case, if you are not able to read, what I have written.

Had to take a trip down to Orchard to make the payment of my “new toy” Olympus E500 and at the same time, I had to do the usual stunt of “in-between meeting” with (SS). (SS) had done extremely well with his sales and is receiving some awards and had to be clad in his best attire, so guess who he choose his shopping partner to be…hahaha yes me…Am I really good in giving opinions? Of cos I am, after lavishing on images of hunks on Magazines, I am sure I am able to lay my fingers on the best choice of suit fitted for (SS). (SS) wanted to bring me along for the awards presentation, but his uncle would be coming along, so cannot lah…wait uncle would ask a lot of questions and I don’t want to go through all the Q and A sessions, but really would have loved to be the there and indulge the feelings of a proud “Mama” watching her “son” on stage! :), But I am content in knowing that he is doing well.

Adding to the surprise, SS bought me a gift, because he had received some hefty bonus. It was really sweet of him to do that .hmmm….let me flash out, what the gift is, it’s a beautiful ring!(Really beautiful) .SS know that I am a girl who don’t like to wear jewellery but its was really nice, of cos, who also don’t want??? Guess what…showed mum the gift he bought me, well of course like all concerned mums….she went like “its not nice to accept gift before marriage, but guess the concept of “its ok, its alright, it’s nothing bad” overtook her words of wisdom!(SS) thank you very much for you gift, I love it and of cos you too…J.Well I better get back to my lesson plans before my mentor comes in for my class observation. Oh yeah…just before I forget…*DO I HEAR YOU?* have a good week ahead everyone!

The rope of labour has been pulling  me into the suction of the slavery world of time, that I have not been able to update my blog…But I am back once again, with what I love doing most:)Taking pictures,the recent pictures were taken at my friend Zaharah’s Engagement.Do indulge in the views of an Indian Muslim Custom and leave behind your comments and critics for me to improve on>Do I hear you

One of my favorite sound track from the movie: Wedding Singer! The lyrics is like a dream come true for many gals and guys(not sure if you’re the emo type) out there, but let me ask you one question imagine if this song is sang to you with full of emotion by someone who is not nice looking, would you agree to the person who sang this song to you..Hmmm…actually this was a question posed to me by my friend last night, because I was mentioning to her on the fact that if anyone sang this song to me, it would certainly melt my heart on the spot and top it up with the strumming of the guitar…gosh that would be an ideal proposalJ

…lets track back to the question that my friend posed to me, well it comes back to a question which I ask of myself: Does look matters to me? Sadly it does, but not how the guy look but how he looks at me: with affection: with sincerity and most of it all…looks at the reality of who I really am. Let’s face it; there is only one Aiswarya Rai and one Arjun Rampal…does that means the rest of human kind …should stop loving. Sometimes I just cannot understand paranoid freaks with the statement such as: God…is not sure how that cute looking guy, went with that @k%% looking gal and then they would end the sentence by saying Love is blind.

Is being in a relationship all about flaunting your good looking partner around? Love lies beyond the beauty of my eyes, truly the first impression that we often dwell upon is the look, but as we accelerate towards a relationship, suddenly all this looks becomes minuet…we start to look beyond the look into the matters of the heart where points such as understanding, accepting and truly loving surfaces, if this is the objective that we are living based on, then why emphasize on looks in the first place.

I am not saint by saying that looks does not matter at all, but just making realization that let someone speak from the heart instead of just “reading it out” by looking at  “beauty” of the person. I would like to end this post by copying down one of the nick of my friend  in msn, “There are no ugly gals in the world, just lazy ones” Likewise there is no one ugly just people whom have yet to realize their inner beauty. Would be back with another post soon.

I have always been a avid fan of Sufi poems, for they are words with immense depth of meaning in them, for those whom lavish on words, becoming a playground tools for your imagination, then join me in indulging in the beauty of the poems pluck out from the garden of poetry planted by two famous poets, Jalalud’din Rumi (Mystic poet) and Rabia al Basri (female poet). The reason why I like Rumi is because I crave the sheer elation that must have welled up from his heart when he began to sing his poems of truth and beauty. But most of all, I recognize in Rumi what is the very essence of the world’s wisdom traditions. He has dispelled the chimera of ego, relinquishing the last and greatest fetter of the spirit. To see through that illusion and to live one’s life free of it—that to me is the Birth, Being, and the belonging of oneself. I think this is why I find old Sufi so intriguing yet gentle with its content. Being able to relate to every bit of his statement is being able to dream something which you would be able to breathe in truthfully. As for Rabia, the word that is conveyed from her heart speaks of purity and truth. Her poems never fail to bring out the piety she had towards life itself. Below are some poems which I would like to share.

Die before you die (Rabia Al Basri)

DIE BEFORE YOU DIE

Ironic, but one of the most intimate acts
of our body is
death.

So beautiful appeared my death – knowing who then I would kiss,
I died a thousand times before I died.

“Die before you die,” said the Prophet

Muhammad.

Have wings that feared ever
touched the Sun?

I was born when all I once
feared – I could
love.

Here I am (Rumi)- one of my classic Fav!

All night, a man called “Allah”-

Until his lips were bleeding.

Then the Devil said, “Hey! Mr Gullible!

How comes you’ve been calling all night

And never once heard Allah say, “Here, I am”?

You call out so earnestly and, in reply, what?

I’ll tell you what. Nothing!”

The man suddenly felt empty and abandoned.

Depressed, he threw himself on the ground

And fell into a deep sleep.

In a dream, he met Abraham, who asked,

“Why are you regretting praising Allah?”

The man said, “ I called and called

But Allah never replied, “Here I am.”

Abraham explained, “Allah has said,

“Your calling my name is My reply.

Your longing for Me is My message to you.

All your attempts to reach Me

Are in reality My attempts to reach you.

Your fear and love are a noose to catch Me.

In the silence surrounding every call of “Allah”

Waits a thousand replies of “Here I am.”

Dreams, why are they so influential in my Life. Try as I might to ward off the thoughts of are they in relation to the happenings in my LIFE?? Or does a particular dream really send out a message which is the visual warning of future happenings, whatever they might be perceived for, I always try to fall back to one thing…late night, deep thoughts and yes some sort of “Karma” eventually transfuse themselves into vision of dreams.hmmm…now that isn’t just one thing right, seems like there are a lot of contributing factors which might just be the reasoning behind the formation of dreams.

Silver plated Virgo chain and Silver plated Capricorn chain entangled, a narration by someone afar, reading out the words of horoscope of how Life between a Virgo and Capricorn is like. The entangled chains continue to swing like a pendulum, this image really focused well, whereas the backdrop vision of someone is out of focus. Suddenly the images moulds themselves into another setting, amidst tall skyscrapers, 17^th storey…clear glass overlooking the deep blue sea. Whispers breaks into the silent, capturing my attention as my sense of hearing urged for more…and I wanted to understand the melody of emotion that surrounds me. I was staring ahead at nothing in particular, with the rays of the sunlight peeking its way into the room once familiar in my memory. Finally the image of the person came clear into my vision, as I tried to sync in the words spoken to the vision in front of me, uttering these very sentence … ”Come back into the memories that seek the bridge between the minds of you and me. Overwhelming with emotions of doubts, my eyes shuts to enter darkness…to escape from the answers of reality. Grasping for strength amidst the darkness serves no purpose, as I could not find the path for me to lead on…I gave in, finally as I opened my eyes to come in terms with the truth which I have been burying within myself…a truth written as fate in the BOOKS OF GOD. You would not know what really happened, because the information which was being feed to you, were all smeared with Lies, Lies, a weapon to defend cowards whom are afraid to face up to reality, for they are afraid that the most severe punishment bestowed upon them would be isolation. Bunch of fools…they conformed to the words of the society…by the way…why am I using they, when it should be an I .Rephrase the whole sentence with the letter I. This might serve as a fine example of how good I am trying to run away from my problems. A post of truth. A post of transparent. A post of regret. A journey which became twisted by the decision one makes.

Seeking, Searching, Scaffolding of thoughts from past errors. Try as I might to eschew they seek formation from all that surrounds me, even in my dreams, making it harder and harder to break free from. SNAPPING back to present…trying hard to follow the advice of someone INSHALLAH I’m going to marry “try not to talk about your past”. Yes I would not do so! I told myself with sincerity, pushing back all forms of thoughts. Filtering all residues of past to seek a better life in future. Suck into a vacuum of darkness whenever I take the step back to see what ANISHAR had been like. ALLAH swt knows the best. IN GOD I TRUST, IN GOD I SEEK REFUGE, INGOD I SEEK FORGIVNESS AND IN GOD I SEEK BLESSING.*moody moments*

Was on my way back home, when I bumped into two familiar faces, but unfamiliar hair-do…Yeah bumped into the Rama and Shafi from local Hip-Hop group, Triple Noize…I was contemplating if I should smile at them, Took the risk and flashed my smile at Rama and was crossing my fingers on getting a smile back, which eventually he had been doing before I did mine…and I popped a silly question: Remember me?Duh…How could they forget the Krazy Hijab Director for their music video for “Third Eye”!Rama nod his head and asked me what am I doing now? I told him that I was in NIE and then he flashed a sheepish smile asking why not media? Hmmm…relating to the question I should thread my path towards the topic for today’s post.

So much of Inspiration I had before I took a major decision in pursuing my diploma in Film, Sound and Video. Took the aptitude test at Ngee Ann Poly as part of the admission procedure…had loads of doubts if I could get through to the next stage of interview, then received the call for the interview…the feeling was overwhelming. Charles Maideen and Cristina Mok were the interviewers…answered a bunch of media related Qs and awaited for admission into the course I wanted to enter with enthusiasm. Got in with a great surprise along with it, as my best friend Shahrin also got in the same course, Life can never be greater…took up the position of Director for my 2^nd year studio production, music video production and that’s where I gotta know a group of creative Talented dudes Triple Noize(Really nice guys with a very cool attitude)wonder what they thought when they found out that the one directing would be a hijabiJhad to go through the song over and over again to visualize the scene that would be suitable for the depth of the lyrics…Initially I had an idea but They proclaimed that its was too “Puff Daddy” like…well perhaps I didn’t pitch my proposal well, cause my idea was not to don them with huge “Gold chain” but then again…this post would be extra long, if I am gona tell you about it…but nevertheless had a great time shooting the music video with these guys, as they were one of my best talents …I was not under any pressure even though I was working with professionals, cos they made the shoot like a fun process… went with the flow…working with my team members, Jun…Wayne…shahrin…Arfa…Yasmeen was equally great…had great fun during the shoot, …I truly had the satisfaction of mission accomplished…till today Ive got many inspiration towards art, in any form…its always ever changing as in to, what I wana do in Life…but all I wana gain is satisfaction in whatever I do… I JUST COULD GO ON AND ON…suddenly I feel so drawn back into memory lane…it’s always a nice feeling. Good to know that you have “DONE THAT, BEEN THERE BEFORE”. All the crazy times I had during Poly would always be the best of memories in my Life…for I think being a Film student, only some are privileged in taking that path and I’m so glad in experiencing it all. Going out to all FSvian graduation batch 2003…*you guys were a talented bunch*

Try visualizing your dreams in the dark. Try as you might, you would never be able to grasp the dreams for you see nothing in the dark…mislead by the action stated above? Neither the darkness nor the dream was a reality to me…till yesterday when I saw a film during my lecture, when I realized how dreams are defined and how each inch of that very dream is carved out beautifully and that too in darkness…each student with a disability in their body but carrying a mountain of courage in their hearts, proved to me that all that matters in Life is not what fate defines, but How you define FATE to be. If being in a state of venerability and a state of sympathy is what revolves around life of people with disability, then I must say that all of us are wrong…we failed to look deep within…the aim in life that unfolds in every step that is taken by these people with disability, smears shame in people who claim of being unfortunate over mere citing.

3^rd story of Capturing Dreams in the Dark:

Fuhua, 21 yrs old, (Paralyzed from head to toe: poisoned by monoxide when she was 4yrs old.)

Did she accepted Fate to be a full stop to the sentences in her Life?….No she defined Fate to be a “comma” to continue on …reflecting her thoughts with sense of hearing, the vital sense, which is the only element she is able to depend on to carry on her mission in Life. Her mission of becoming a writer, yes…tears dwelling in the corners of my eyes for I have lost myself amidst Fuhua’s drive of living life to the fullest, a passion she have towards Life, mesmerizing every worth of Life, for which I plainly took for granted. A veil of shame paints its way across my heart, for it became entwined with all those statements of “sympathy I try to create for myself”. I became a mere human, a failing human whom clings on to the ideology of how one should construct Life within the content of worldly stuff .A lesson I learnt, sorry I should not define it as a lesson…but I learnt LIFE itself is a GIFT, about how gifted one is to taste life. This post is not about being philosophical but truly conveying what I saw, heard and felt deeply upon seeing the film, an aspiration for LIFE lies not only on fate but How ONE paints fate with the colours of dreams, which they sometimes capture even in Darkness.

*Walk in the Path of Your Dreamz,

And reach the Peak of reality*

~ Aneesha Chintha ~

“I told you time again and again not to forget your homework and still you did it”. From that statement mentioned in the morning, the fearsome looking teacher turnover tremendously into a soft spoken snow white last night at British Club for the Teacher’s Day dinner. Yeaps attended my 1^st Teacher’s Day dinner at British Club last night and I never regret one bit for joining amidst the educators of Yangzheng Primary School, By the way the theme for the night was movie Night and the teachers were in a galore of Fantasy world, Superstars and yeah… a roomful of good-looking gentlemen and Ladies, I have to mention this…we even had our own Angelina Jolie…(Wah Miss Lim, the English teacher really heat up the room with her extra short shorts and the TOMB RAIDER look.

It really gave me an opportunity to mingle around well and arhmmm…and also to hear few good comments of how great I looked that night (Gosh, Anishar is so thick skinned) and yeaps not forgetting good food to go around the table. The only regret I had was not to capture the moments with my camera, because I completely forgot about it, after rushing home from NIE and rushing to the dinner after dressing up was really tiring, but it was all worth it, but Mr. Jalal took the shots, perhaps I could get it from him. I have to tell to tell you what I wore right??? If not you wont be able to visualize the whole motion of this post…hahahah (what a lame reason to flaunt what I wore).Three days ago, I contemplated on what to wear and checked out that the ranges of clothing in my cupboard and found out that they were really outdated and thought to myself(heheheheh).Its time to purchase a new one…so dragged along the someone special to SHEETAL…have been eyeing the boutique for along time, finally got my chance…and yeaps the Special Someone made the prefect choice of black sari material, actually I’ve got no idea what to call it, because firstly it a Indian boutique but the dress I bought looked so much like Malay Baju, but it was classy and the cuts were one of a kind and being an ardent fan of something unique, I fell in Love with it, all thanks to (SS) for pointing it out to me….but the attire came with a hefty sum as well….to look good you have to pump in a little more interest rights??? that didn’t end there, went back home and showed it to my mum and she was like…”you want to wear all black?” better go and change it and there I was comtemplating once again because under that Lighting at the shop, its looked nice… at home it look normal…Then I decided that I should change it, thought of changing it after class at NIE and guess what happened, my classmates were like, “Baju macham Lawah”, Jangan lah change and then…I was confused once again and finally decided to wear it.hahahahha…so much built-up for an attire….In the end all went wellJNow am back in school, watching kids do their extreme bit in making their “Gurus” happy for the day and let me do my bit for all GURUs out there. Wishing you Guys a HAPPY TEACHER’S DAY

*I tugged on my mum’s hand to hurry up. We made our way from the fish monger stall, to the dry groceries stall and finally to the flower shop at the wet market, as I handed out a two dollars note and asked for a stalk of red rose. My eyes gleamed with excitement while I handed my teacher the rose and wished her Happy teacher’s Day! – PCF,

Henderson

,

August 31^st 1986-

*

No i didnt buy this, but this was something which also caught my eyes at Sheetal….hehehehe may next round…*hope my mum doesnt read my post*